The Not So Big Life

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Peggy Lami — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:42:14 GMT

Author: Peggy Lami
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.23.2008, 4:42 pm (GMT -5)

Dearest Claire,

I wrote the first poem when I was 16 and then the next at 17. You might see a big change in my view of things. When I look back, nothing really changed in my life. I changed the way that I would respond to things that happened to me. Maybe some of what you feel is a reflection of your personality, what you are presenting to the world reflected back at you. Do you know how wonderfully perfect you are? See if you can reflect that truth back to you.

With all my best,
Peggy

Alone

Alone is meek.
Alone is proud.
Alone is quiet.
Alone is loud.
Alone is a whisper,
Or really loud.

Alone is easy.
Alone is tight.
Alone is carefree.
Alone is fright.
Alone is trying,
And not losing sight.

Alone is unknown.
Alone is of fame.
Alone is nameless,
While having a name.
Alone is different
Among the Same.

Alone is blind.
Alone is to see.
Alone is caged.
Alone is free.
Alone is alone.
Alone is me.
Copyright 1968 Peggy Lami

Success

Determined to succeed, I toed the line.
My opinions and ethics were good, but not mine.
Stereotyped to the nth degree,
I never know who is really me.

A tragedy! I was out of step.
On the edge, bewildered, I wept.
Downtrodden, different, really out,
I hadn't thought what I am about.

Gloomily, I stood again.
Knowing not where to go, or when.
I took one new step. I changed the beat.
I used all of me, my entirety.

Instead of conforming to all of the rest,
I summoned my courage and did my best.
I walked alone, erect, and strong.
And from my soul escaped a song.

Elated, feeling as if I were drugged,
I skipped, cavorted, wriggled, shrugged.
What people say�that I will fail�
Isn't true. My soul will sail.

I was turned out of a mold.
Proper, schooled, perfected, cold.
I now set forth for the world to see
What is absolutely, actually, honestly me.

Copyright 1969 Peggy Lami

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Marie — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:57:58 GMT

Author: Marie
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.23.2008, 10:57 am (GMT -5)

Dear Birnist,

It sounds like you had a really wonderful talk with your daughter. Sarah had a chance to read your post, but she's traveling for the rest of this week, so won't be able to respond until next week. She asked me to let you know this, and to remind you of the quote from Chapter 11:

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth acreoss the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

--RUMI

It seemed like a perfect poem for the discussion of threshold. I'm interested to see Peggy's poem, too.

Love,

Marie

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Birnist O'Reilly — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:32:11 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.23.2008, 10:32 am (GMT -5)

Thanks, Peggy.

My daughter is an amazing person. We're blessed to have each other. We're blessed to have you.

Looking forward to your poem.
Birnist

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Peggy Lami — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:34:15 GMT

Author: Peggy Lami
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.23.2008, 7:34 am (GMT -5)

Birnist,

Your daughter is an amazing young woman. She will continue to understand experiencing the experience in partnership with you. Maybe you could tell her about her small self and her true self. Anybody who has dreams like hers will see. I remember the hopelessness that I felt at her age. I'll send you a poem later this afternoon.

Peggy

General Discussion :: RE: questions without a chapter

Birnist O'Reilly — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:13:31 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: questions without a chapter
Posted: 7.22.2008, 8:13 am (GMT -5)

Thanks Sarah,

I will get the book and movie of Jonathan Livingston Seagull for Claire and will look forward to your post.

Claire had the most amazing dream the other night. I tried posting it yesterday, but the screen went blank when I hit the send button. I will try again today and post it on Synchronicities and the Waking Dream.

Thank you, and with much love,
Birnist

General Discussion :: RE: questions without a chapter

Sarah — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:13:07 GMT

Author: Sarah
Subject: Re: questions without a chapter
Posted: 7.21.2008, 6:13 pm (GMT -5)

Dear Birnist,

I have been thinking about writing a book for teens, but haven't written it yet. However I do have a brief four or five page letter and set of questions for teens which is a synopsis of what I used when I was younger to orient myself in my life. I would be happy to share this with you. I have to dig it out and brush off the dust, but will post it here on the site in a week or so. I'm not sure if it is what you need to help your daughter or not, but at least it will be a beginning.

Do you think she'd be interested in reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull? Or there's a movie made about the same book. It occurs to me that that might provide some inspiration for her and help her to see hard times in a different light.

I'll be headed out of town for the rest of the week, but will be back in touch early next week.

Much love to you, and to your daughter,
Sarah

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Birnist O'Reilly — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:46:22 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.21.2008, 3:46 pm (GMT -5)

My daughter has been very sad lately. She tells me stories about how lonely she feels and how she doesn't feel like she fits in at her school. "It's almost like nobody knows I'm there. Or, if they do know, they don't care." A sad condition for her to experience. A sad story for me to hear.

She went to bed crying, again, the other night.

The next day, when she woke, she told me about her nighttime dream. She was very open.

It seems she went to heaven that night. And it was filled with beautiful bright colors (her favorite) and the music of her favorite rockband was playing. The scenery was lush and there were many lakes and streams all filled with beautifully colored water. She arrived there with a group of strangers, but somehow this didn't bother her (normally it would).

While there, she met a man from India who told her that he had just returned from a trip to hell and he proceeded to tell her about his journey. He calmly told her that he had been taken there by an angel to see some of his countrymen and about the anguish that they suffered -- the greatest of which was their inability to speak (although they somehow managed to cry out to him for help, but, he could do nothing). He told her of other horrific scenes, too. And when he was finished his story, Claire returned to the beautiful garden. Her dream ended then and she awoke.

She told me that the dream left her a little afraid, but, mostly puzzled. Then she said that somehow she knew she would live a long life (she has been having concerns about dying) and said "I'm not afraid of dying now, Mom".

We talked at length and I explained to her that death is often used as a metaphor for change in life. After all, when we let go, we are no longer holding on.

I went on to describe that a doorway has a threshold and that if we wish to pass from one room into another we must always cross that threshold. Then we are leaving something behind for the sake of something new. Change. We wondered together about how many thresholds we cross in one day. What would if be like if we were aware of these thresholds? What would it be like to be aware? She smiled and I heard her softly say "yeh".

Then I told her about my grandfather crossing the threshold from life into death. How he stood at the doorway, ready to leave this thing called "his life", his body no longer suffering from disease, he said that he heard "a choir of angels singing" just for him. He was on the threshold of change - something called "the present" where nothing else exists except that single moment. And then it is gone, replaced by another single moment, etc., etc. Grandpa was alive. Grandpa was dying. Grandpa died. The present always becomes the past. There is no future. There is only the present moment.

I asked her to close her eyes and try to imagine the experience of that moment. Then I asked her if she could experience the experiencing of the moment. I saw a smile come on her face. "Yes."

I love her so much.
Birnist

General Discussion :: RE: questions without a chapter

Birnist O'Reilly — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 00:55:19 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: questions without a chapter
Posted: 7.20.2008, 7:55 pm (GMT -5)

Sarah,

Do I remember you mentioning, somewhere, that you were thinking about or working on a NSB book for teens?

Birnist

General Discussion :: RE: questions without a chapter

Birnist O'Reilly — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 12:58:31 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: questions without a chapter
Posted: 7.20.2008, 7:58 am (GMT -5)

Dear Sarah,

My 16 year old daughter has been going through hard times lately. She feels lost and lonely a lot of the time. She has a teacher who she trusts and likes. And she see this woman one time each week for counselling. But, I see that the process of opening up is also painful for her. She wants these difficult times to pass. And so she spends her days waiting for tomorrow and tomorrow. She waits for that day when she awakes and there is no more feeling lost. No more feeling lonely.

And so she is hurting from past experiences and dreads the future of returning to school...to the same negative environment (teenagers can be so cruel) and spends the present dreaming of the future being better. But there is no being awake in the present moment.

This is a difficult concept to explain to someone so young. Someone who is actively and naturally going through the process of separating from her parents, but, still needs our protection.

Is there a simpler, a younger, way to explain the present moment to Claire?

I spend my time with her, listening and reaching out to hug her when she is receptive (which is often these days).

I feel her pain.

Birnist

Chapter 11 :: RE: Invisible Circuitry of Nature

Barlynne — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:50:29 GMT

Author: Barlynne
Subject: Re: Invisible Circuitry of Nature
Posted: 7.19.2008, 7:50 am (GMT -5)

Originally posted 4/17/2008 at 2:29pm by Joe Matto:
See reply and continuation of discussion now moved and posted to Chapter 11 entitled "Sustainability."

Chapter 11 :: RE: Invisible Circuitry of Nature

Barlynne — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:48:46 GMT

Author: Barlynne
Subject: Re: Invisible Circuitry of Nature
Posted: 7.19.2008, 7:48 am (GMT -5)

Originally posted 4/16/2008 at 6:11pm by Sarah:
Dear Joe,

A full response to what you have written will have to wait until I return from my upcoming retreat, but in the meantime, take a look at the blog post I posted this afternoon, "Who's That in the Mirror?" The child is a prominent feature in both posts, created apparently by two individuals who are unaware of the other's words or thoughts. This is the play of consciousness. We can see it in action here, over and over again, and any notion that this is "my thought", is clearly not accurate.

So I will return to this post after May 1st to give it my full attention. Thanks for a wonderful contribution.

All the best until then,
Sarah

Chapter 11 :: RE: Invisible Circuitry of Nature

Barlynne — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:47:10 GMT

Author: Barlynne
Subject: Re: Invisible Circuitry of Nature
Posted: 7.19.2008, 7:47 am (GMT -5)

Originally posted 4/15/2008 at 11:07pm by Joe Matto:
Dear Sarah,

I was just reading some of Tolle's discussions in New Earth about watching television and other activities which present "language" that is "Sleep inducing", trivial, and meaningless. So thanks for underscoring that lesson with your post.

The story of Bucky's one-year retreat from talking until he had his own direct understanding of the words he used is THE story that had always amazed me as well. I was going to share that with you next. But you beat me to it!

There is a funny video of Bucky and the Maharaji Maresh Yogi in Dialogue about leading a "Fuller Life" that I saw back in design school several years after starting TM practice. That story of the personal re-discovering of language is relayed there as well and had a similar impact on me as it has apparently had on you. Although� it really has taken me most of my life to fully appreciate the significance of what he said in being silent for so long.

In his book��"Buckminster Fuller To The Children of Earth" there is an analogy he often used to describe what he calls a "Pattern Integrity". Bucky makes distinctions between the Pattern, that which creates the Pattern, and that which allows the Pattern to exist. There are 3 entities in this analogy...The Rope, the Knot (ie Pattern Integrity), and the "I" that makes the knot.

The "Rope" is representative of the world of form and the "Knot" is very much like your concept of the "Mechanism". Which gives new meaning to the expression�"Being at the end of one's rope!" And the "I" that makes the knot, well, I guess thats up for discussion.....

KNOTS

I am not the hair that grows and gets cut off.
I'm not my fingernails.
I'm not the food I eat that turns into cells in my body�.

Man is a "Pattern Integrity"
He is like the knot tied in a rope.
He is not the rope.

I am going to splice a piece of manilla rope to
A piece of cotton rope and then splice the other end
Of the cotton rope to a piece of nylon rope.

I am going to make the very simplest knot that I know�loosely.
The rope has not done this, I have done it to the rope.
I can slide this knot along�
I slide it along the rope and now it leaves the manilla
And now it's on the cotton.
I keep sliding it along and now its on the nylon.
So�and suddenly it's off the end!

We say the knot has a pattern integrity,
It wasn't manilla, it wasn't cotton, it wasn't nylon.
Cotton and Nylon and Manilla;
Any one of them is good to let us know about the [knot's] shape,
What its pattern was, but it was not it [any of them];
It had an integrity in its own.

Here are some other miscellaneous Bucky quotes and observations of profound relevance for me within the context of NSBL thinking and our dialogue regarding sacred geometry�.

"The "Wife" of the Icosahedron is the Pentagonal Dodecahedron�because she outlines the 12 surface area domains upon which the 12 vertices of the Icosahedron center." The Icosahedron is a Structural System comprised of triangles, the Pentagonal Dodecahedron is not. The Pentagonal Dodecahedron exhibits ubiquitous occurrences of the Divine Proportion in all sectioning and tessellations.

"Life is the eternal present in the temporal. Life is the NOW event with� reaction past�and resultant future. Each individual life is a special-case articulation of the infinite varieties of scenarios to be realized within the multi-degrees of freedom and vast range of frequencies of actions that are accommodated by the generalized laws governing Universe."

"Time is experience�[Restricted] consciousness evokes a non-simultaneous sequence [experience], ergo "Time". Time is not the fourth dimension and should not so be identified. Time is only a relative observation, a set of local sequences of experience�Time is not a function of space. Instantaneity would eliminate "Otherness", "time", and "Self-andOther-Awareness". Instantaneity and eternity are both timeless; They are the same."

Bucky promoted the idea of engaging the universe as a child and in "Tetrascrolls - A cosmic Fairy Tale" he cites Christopher Morley's 1922 Poem�

The poetry, innate, untold,
Of being only four years old.

Still young enough to be a part
Of nature's great impulsive heart,
Born comrade of bird, beast and tree
And unselfconsciously as the bee�

And yet with lovely reason skilled
Each day new paradise to build,
Elate explorer of each sense,
Without dismay, without pretense!

In unstained, transparent eyes
There is no conscience, no surprise:
Life's queer conundrums you accept,
Your strange divinity still kept.

�And related to this is the way that Tolle will unexpectedly shed light on scripture when, after a discourse familiar to our contemporary ears, he will often reflect on the words of Jesus bringing them and us into the NOW.

And in recalling Bucky's definition of "LIFE" as the "Now Event" that energetically resolves the physics of "Reaction Past" and "Resultant Future", I am, like Tolle, reminded of Jesus' words as follows�.

"Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."

So in considering these writings it can be understood that the "conversion" Jesus speaks of is not to a religion but rather to a state of consciousness imbued with Presence and lived in the NOW as sweetly described in Morley's poem� "Still young enough to be a part of Nature's great impulsive heart."

And as Bucky would say�.
"A child is comprehensive. He wants to understand the whole thing�Universe."

(And the best part of having written this post is that I avoided watching television!!)

Chapter 11 :: RE: Invisible Circuitry of Nature

Barlynne — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:44:59 GMT

Author: Barlynne
Subject: Re: Invisible Circuitry of Nature
Posted: 7.19.2008, 7:44 am (GMT -5)

Originally posted 4/15/2008 at 12:38pm by Sarah:
Dear Joe,

I can tell there's more here than a quick read can fully reveal. Buckminster Fuller was indeed an incredible explorer of consciousness. I've been watching a series of videos that include some interviews with Bucky Fuller, and by listening to and observing the techniques he used in his own life to live more fully and more consciously, it's apparent that he was far more than a geometer and scientist.

One story he tells that stuck with me is this: He noticed when he was a young man that much of what came out of his mouth, what passed for conversation, was nothing more than automatic patterned behavior that was almost devoid of true content. (An example: How are you? Fine. How are you? Fine thanks. How are the kids? etc. The words are a conditioned formality, and don't relay anything about our true state.)

He realized that in order to live more authentically, and to drop the conditioned patterns that had run through all of his life to that point, he would need to recondition himself. So, with his wife's help, he stopped talking--entirely--for a year. She became his voice, while he refused to play the part he'd always played in the past. In other words he went to the other end of the seesaw in order to come to know difference... to experience what happens when the conditioned patterns don't play.

In the interview in which he told this story he said that the experience of that year, and the wisdom that arose from it, completely changed the course of his life. After the year was up, he no longer spoke about things that had no significance. Through this simple (though certainly difficult to implement) technique he woke up to more of the potential that all human beings are born with.

That said, I realize that I, like the Arthur L. Loeb, will need to pay more attention to the words from Bucky that you include in your post. It's easy to read them and think "Well, I think I sort of get it", or "I don't think I get it", or "This guy is crazy".

But I suspect that with carefully pondering, the secrets that brought these words into existence will reveal themselves. All that's required is our attention.

Thanks Joe,
Sarah

Chapter 11 :: RE: Invisible Circuitry of Nature

Barlynne — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:43:32 GMT

Author: Barlynne
Subject: Re: Invisible Circuitry of Nature
Posted: 7.19.2008, 7:43 am (GMT -5)

Originally posted 4/14/2008 at 6:41pm by Barlynne:

How beautifully the mind dances, Joe. Thank you for these lovely moments.

Barlynne

Chapter 11 :: Invisible Circuitry of Nature

Barlynne — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:41:51 GMT

Author: Barlynne
Subject: Invisible Circuitry of Nature
Posted: 7.19.2008, 7:41 am (GMT -5)

Community Forum member Joe Matto began this thread in Passions. Due to space and character restrictions, we must move the discussion into a new topic. Here you will see the original posts. We apologize for the unavoidable inconvenience. --- Barlynne, Site Administrator.

Posted by Joe Matto 4/14/2008 at 5:15pm:
INVISIBLE CIRCUITRY OF NATURE

Buckminster Fuller's masterwork entitled Synergetics first published in 1982, is a monumental tour-de-force of over 800 pages presenting Bucky's explorations into the Geometry of the Universe and Consciousness.

The book is prefaced by Harvard's beloved Professor and Architect, Arthur L. Loeb who passed away on September 30, 2002. Fifteen years earlier on November 23rd, 1987 I was fortunate to serendipitously meet Arthur Loeb while visiting the Carpenter Center. That day he was lecturing on the topics of Symmetry, Resonance and Mathematical Mirrors and in particular the ubiquitous presence of the Golden Mean Proportion and the Fibonacci number sequence underlying these principles. Coincidentally I was in town visiting a friend with geometric models I was working on attempting to explore similar ideas. After describing them to Arthur he invited me to present the models to his class. It was an exciting "show & tell" day with amazing synchronicities to say the least!

Afterwards, we all gathered at a "Dinner Puzzle Party" with Arthur, his students and some colleagues. It was like being in heaven! While there, after a few glasses of wine, I asked Arthur about some of the mystical aspects of Bucky's Writings. He responded in a mysterious way echoing his preface in Synergetics�whispering observations such as these:

"In rejecting the predigested, Fuller has had to rediscover the world all by himself"
"Posterity will have to draw the line between mystical and scientific"
"I have learned never to reject one of Fuller' outrageous statements without careful examination, and even hesitated to call "Sum of angels around a vertex" in the rough manuscript a misprint."
"You will have to find out about some of these things by yourself"

Of particular note and relevance to NSBL discussions of "Sacred Geometry" and the "Mechanism" is an intriguing section about one quarter of the way through Synergetics called "Invisible Circuitry of Nature". Here Bucky alludes to the geometrical structure of a unified field of consciousness. In Section 427.13 of Synergetics, he proposes the following�..

"The automatically furnished isotropic vector matrix can be described as an omni-directional matrix of "lights", as the four-dimensional counterpart of the two-dimensional light-bulb-matrix of the Broadway & Forty Second Street, New York City Billboards with their fields of powerful little light-bulbs at each vertex that are controlled remotely off-and-on in intensity as well as in color�.turning on all the right lights at the right time, automatically constituted, Center-of-Being-Light "You"� with all its organically arranged "body" of lights omni-surrounding "You"�. could move through space in a multi-dimensional way just by synchronously activating the same number of lights in the same You-Surrounding pattern, with all the four dimensional optical effect as with two-dimensional planar movies, by successively activating each of the lights from one isotropic vector Vertex to the next, with small, local "movement" variations of "You" accomplished by special local matrix sequence programming"

It takes a while to get used to Bucky's densely developed explanations but I hope you get the point�or rather the vertex! The "Center-of -Being Light,You" is NOT the same thing as what appears to BE "You" in the 4 dimensional spatial matrix we experience in time.

Bucky goes on to say that�

"a concentric spherical cluster of four-dimensional "light" points can be progressively "turned on" to comprise a "substance" which seemingly moves from here to there�This indeed may be what Universe is doing! �this is one way humans could have been radio-transmitted and put aboard Earth from any place in the Universe."

WOW! And most people associate Bucky Fuller with Geodesic play-domes at the local elementary school!

So since poetry is my preferred expression pertaining to anything mystical or geometrical �and with Bucky and Arthur in mind�I will offer these musings.

RIVER RUNNER

Crystal field visions
Spin multi-facet elation
Rainbow pulses
Synchronize
Forms in
Light

Ten dodecahedrons
In GeometroDance
Eddys and haystacks
Conjugate beams
Backphase the maze
And here
We are there�
As particles seem!

Winter 1987

LACE OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Memory thick air
Threads
Past-life selves
Crossing planar levels
Spinning grids
Break shelf
Identifying still points
Wormhole networks connecting
The tangled maze brightens
Simultaneous test links
Tightening

Nested loops
Check symmetry
Signals
Candle-flicker
While layers of bubble pack
Package the space
Of space latticed matter
Of crystalline
Wicker.

Winter 1987

SURF'S UP

Evolution
Is a wave of revisions
Moving back in time.

Catch The Wave!!

General Discussion :: Be on the look out

Manon DeMeer — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:13:23 GMT

Author: Manon DeMeer
Subject: Be on the look out
Posted: 7.19.2008, 6:13 am (GMT -5)

for a boy-- selfish and egotistical-- self satisfied and last seen sitting in a corner with a sticky purple thumb

It is so liberating and sometimes exciting to become aware of the waking dream. I sometimes find that I feel a bit smug over advancements on the journey. I recently realized that I sometimes am posessed by the spirit of Little Jack Horner. At those times I try to remember that plum pie is chock full and anyone who sticks their thumb in can pull one out. Its then I decide that I'd rather serve others pie in the hopes that they too find a plum than marvel over my ability to sit in a corner and pull a plum out of one all by myself.

Chapter 2 :: Remembering Ojects, Situations and Significant Moments

Preston — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:42:12 GMT

Author: Preston
Subject: Remembering Ojects, Situations and Significant Moments
Posted: 7.18.2008, 7:42 pm (GMT -5)

Sarah suggested that we "don't worry" if we can't immediately recall objects and moments, but I found it frustrating that I couldn't think of any significant ones at the time. I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to break the mental block, so I did a bit of research and was pleased with what I found.

I found a web site with an article by Dr. Joseph Carver that offered tips on how to jog our memories when thinking doesn't yield the results we want. I've included the tips below, as well as a link to the article that contained them.

"To increase your chances of recalling memories, remember that memories are stored in different brain locations. �Thinking� is just one way to access our memories. Other ways are:
� Reviewing photographs.
� Listening to music of that time. Music is a great way to activate memories. Songs from childhood and teen years often produce a flood of memories.
� Cook something you enjoyed in childhood. Smells often jolt our memories. I once entered a restroom and immediately began thinking about a childhood camp I attended. They had changed the soap in the restroom � the same type of industrial-grade soap we had at the camp. It prompted me to write Emotional Memory (link below), an article on the subject.
� Revisit childhood locations.
� Look at yearbooks. Most people make more memories in high school than any other time�because everything is significant."

Can't remember my childhood
Emotional Memory

I hope you'll find some of these tips as useful as I did.
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Blogs :: RE: "Do It Yourself" Not So Big Life Workshop

Birnist O'Reilly — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:46:42 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: "Do It Yourself" Not So Big Life Workshop
Posted: 7.18.2008, 9:46 am (GMT -5)

Dear Peggy,

Thank you so much for sharing.

Fondly,
Birnist

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Birnist O'Reilly — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:08:11 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.17.2008, 12:08 pm (GMT -5)

Today I went to my mindfulness group. But, it was different for several reasons.

Six months ago I had a choice to either repeat another year on the teachings of mindfulness or wait, for who knows how long, until there were enough people to start a second level group. I decided to return to the original class, but, I wasn't sure what it would be like for me repeating the same material or what it would be like for others, who were beginning the process, to have me in their group. Sarah's advice was to just go with a "beginner's mind". So, off I went. Open minded, or so I thought.

The material was interesting, but, not always exciting -- the way it used to be. Why was that so? How could that be? I knew there was more to learn, but, I was stuck. I felt as though I couldn't go deeper. I became frustrated with myself and the teachers.

Then someone in the group spoke up and asked me not to comment so much on her work. I was shocked, but not surprised. It took me awhile to understand what she was saying and what was happening inside of me. I wasn't actively listening.

Today's group was very different. Our homework was to focus on a challenge, that we experienced in our life and to tell about how we dealth with it. I was the last person to talk and I chose this experience. I reflected, out loud to everyone, my process of coming to hear and understand what this group member way saying and the obstacles I incurred in going completely through this experienced. I wanted to learn from it and I told her this. Then I thanked her for being brave enough to speak up.

Sometime ago, I would have been defensive and not heard what was said. I would have written off the entire situation in one fashion or another, all the while hurting terribly inside. The message that I would have taken away then would have been "well I screwed up again." My personality would not have allowed me the opportunity to learn the real lesson.

Now, I am listening. I am learning with my beginner's mind.

Birnist

Blogs :: RE: "Do It Yourself" Not So Big Life Workshop

Sarah — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:31:19 GMT

Author: Sarah
Subject: Re: "Do It Yourself" Not So Big Life Workshop
Posted: 7.17.2008, 10:31 am (GMT -5)

Thank you so much for sharing your insights Peggy. A phrase came to me the other day that seems appropos after reading your post.

Quote:

Every desire takes us on a long journey back to nothing.

There never really was a problem, but you couldn't have come to know that until the desire to be who you used to think yourself to be was gone.

With great love,
Sarah

Blogs :: RE: "Do It Yourself" Not So Big Life Workshop

Peggy Lami — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:30:42 GMT

Author: Peggy Lami
Subject: Re: "Do It Yourself" Not So Big Life Workshop
Posted: 7.17.2008, 9:30 am (GMT -5)

To ONE and All:

One week ago, if time were real, I departed for the Omega Institute. I used two days of solo driving as my preparation for the Not So Big Life Workshop. As my car twisted and turned in the Hudson Valley, I tried to be present and know that I was on a journey to find my true self.

Friday night brought two dozen of us with baggage of expectations to a small cottage for the first time. By Sunday afternoon, togethered, we had shared hopes, fears, jokes, tears and talk of obstacles, mechanisms, and spatulas (It�s a long story.). Every path we took ended and began with I AM. It�s hard to find words to describe what happened in that space.

Jill Bolte Taylor speaks of moving into her right brain and experiencing only the present, and the connectedness of everything. Just beginning to delve into NSBL, I struggled with the duality of discovering the same truth through physiological catastrophe or by reading and experiencing what was to be found in a small, slim book written by an architect I�d long admired. We are ONE.

While in meditation, I began to feel hot, faint, and nauseous. Sometimes the truth hurts. I heard that my poor balance was not an obstacle to meditation, that I was creating a diversion to avoid the truth, and that there is nothing that I need to do. No brass bands or fireworks accompanied the message. I didn�t gain wisdom or hear sage pronouncements as I was offered a peek through a port hole into other dimensions.

Sixteen years ago, like Dr. Taylor, I lay in bed struggling to make sense of the world that I saw. Fully understanding that ceiling plane meets wall planes at corners, I could not find a single edge. Where was I if the room had no boundaries?

Months later I shared with a friend my questioning of the reality of each of us and everything we know. What if we were all hairs on the same dog? Dust particles in the same sidewalk crevice? Planets in the same universe? How do I know a checkered marble floor is flat if I see that the black tiles are four inches thicker than the white tiles? Why should I doubt that the music I can�t not hear is made by a live orchestra? She looked horrified, knowing that I was still crazy, and certain that I�d recover.

Of course I spent the last years working hard to recreate the world I used to know. I worked to �do the things and think the thoughts that will enable you to become the person you wish to be.� I worked hard to regain my personality.

On the way back home I watched thunderstorms, listened to the poetry of Rumi, practiced AM-ing, and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Thank you, Sarah.

Peggy

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Sarah — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:32:29 GMT

Author: Sarah
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.15.2008, 2:32 pm (GMT -5)

It does indeed. It seems your grandfather had a post-dated gift for you that you just opened. This is the power of death. It can in fact wake us up to Now, and to the absolute fact of our awareness in this moment. Every one who has passed across that doorsill knows Now completely... awareness crossing a threshold that exists only and forever in this realm we call consciousness. As we hold hands with that one, we sometimes taste it too from this side of the illusory veil.

Sarah

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Birnist O'Reilly — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 18:30:03 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.15.2008, 1:30 pm (GMT -5)

Dear Sarah,

For joy. I AM not my thoughts, feelings or experiences. I AM the protagonist in my dreams, my life. I AM the one dreaming the dreams. This thing called life IS an illusion. I see now. I felt clarity wash over me and suddenly in truth there was light and we became one.

This happened as I sat, again, recalling scenes from my grandfather's death bed. How I was beside him and held his hand as he died. And the truth that he heard the angels singing. The truth that the things of this world no longer held him hostage. How at One he was with God. How beautiful his life must have been at that moment. He had a smile on his face, I remember, and I was happy for him. How beautiful his dying must have been.

Truth comes in the blink of an eye.

Birnist

Chapter 7 :: RE: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream

Birnist O'Reilly — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:02:17 GMT

Author: Birnist O'Reilly
Subject: Re: Synchronicities and The Waking Dream
Posted: 7.14.2008, 12:02 pm (GMT -5)

Dear Sarah,

Your post is so helpful.

I "feel" what you are saying about the meditative state. Until now, I separated my meditation experience from reality (the illusion). I understand now that we are one and the same. The duality only exists when one state is more powerful than the other.

And what you say about the dying condition is powerful.

I have been with several people, while they lay dying, and they were always so present. So aware. So wise. So peaceful. I was with my grandfather when he passed away. And, just before he died, he called me to his side and asked me "Can you hear it? Can you hear the beautiful music? Can you hear the angels singing?". I know now that he was in the waking dream.

I have often thought about that experience. As a child and through young adulthood, I wondered if it would be possible that I could have such a powerful experience. Something so cleansing. (I didn't know what I meant then, but, I understand now that I wanted my "bad" thoughts, feelings and experiences to go away). Then what would life be like? How much differently would I experience the experience of living? (I asked these questions but didn't know there was a second part to it. I didn't know there was anything like this thing called "living the questions".)

I can't help but think about the old joke(?) "Did you ever hear of the workaholic who, while they lay dying, said that they wished they had worked harder?" Would life have been different if they knew how to live the questions.

"Pondering Well"

Birnist

General Discussion :: RE: questions without a chapter

Sarah — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:05:35 GMT

Author: Sarah
Subject: Re: questions without a chapter
Posted: 7.14.2008, 8:05 am (GMT -5)

That's wonderful Lissa. And it was wonderful to meet you as well. The fact that the words were there when you needed them is an indication that you were able to show up in the moment. You weren't fretting about what to say or how to say it. You could say that "speaking happened".

I just wrote a post in reply to Birnist's latest question, and that'll probably provide some insight for you as well as you look for answers as to why you are attached from time to time to your life's storyline. No matter what we've experienced, we are programmed to identify with those happenings, and the beliefs that underlie them. The process of learning to identify with something greater is the work of this lifetime, and as I think you are beginning to see, as you engage the tools for this work, your life experience shifts.

Here's the link to that post: http://www.notsobiglife.com/community/viewtopic.php?p=712#712

Much love to you, and thank you so much for your participation both here and in the workshop. And posting here when you are not sure where to put it is just fine.

Sarah